You’re Engaged To Be Married! Now What?
The question “Will you marry me?” is just the first of many questions to come.
Where do I start? Do I need a wedding planner? Where do I want to have the wedding? Traditional? Unique? Do I need a wedding coordinator? What can I do to save money on my wedding? What time of year will I have my wedding? Who will I invite to my wedding? How many guests should I invite? How much will my wedding cost? How do I budget for my wedding? Who pays for what?
Where do I start?
“Where do I start?” is the most common question after getting engaged. By now you have most likely started looking into many wedding planning details. Before you can make any arrangements, you need to consider your budget. Your budget is the foundation of everything wedding related. Your budget will determine how many guests, where you have your wedding, what type of food and beverage, even the time of year.
Do I need a wedding planner?
Having the help of a professional was once considered a luxury and not something everyone could afford. Now, weddings are big business and having professional guidance in planning your wedding can save you money and make the planning process more enjoyable for the Bride, Groom, and their families. You can do it yourself, but you should really consider having a professional’s guidance. If you retain a professional wedding planner before you make any arrangements, the planner can help you set a realistic budget and take steps to keep you within that budget, even negotiating with the venue and other professional wedding vendors you will need. You may find that paying a professional to do it right will save you more money in the end.
Where do I want to have the wedding? Traditional? Unique?
Where you have your wedding is an important decision to make early on. Again, your budget and the number of guests are big factors. Do you want a traditional wedding? or something more unique? A traditional wedding would most likely find the wedding ceremony in a church with the reception being at a hall or nearby hotel. Something more unique might include an outdoor ceremony and reception at a unique venue. You may need to be flexible on your preferred date to book the venue of your choice, as dates are often taken up to 18 months in advance. If in different locations, the ceremony and reception sites should be within a thirty minute drive of each other.
Do I need a wedding coordinator?
Yes. If you want things to flow smoothly on your wedding day you will need a coordinator. You might not need a professional coordinator, but it is definitely in your best interest to have a qualified, confident coordinator to manage all the details of your wedding day. At a minimum a good coordinator will ensure that the Bride, Groom and their guests all have a great time, and any potential problems will be handled without the Bride and Groom ever knowing about them allowing the Bride and Groom to feel they had the “Perfect Wedding.”
What can I do to save money on my wedding?
There are many things you can do to save money and stretch your wedding budget further. First consider the number of guests and the date. Saturday is the most expensive day of the week, and prime wedding season is from April to October, at least in the San Francisco Bay Area and Napa Valley Wine Country. Choosing a less popular date can save you money with most of your vendors, and that will add up. I know this may sound like a shameless plug, but choose a venue such as Kenyon Estate where you can choose your own caterer and bring in your own beer and wine with no corkage. Any venue that has their own in-house food and beverage will usually cost you more and limit your options.
Who will I invite to my wedding?
This is a tough question. There are so many things to consider in choosing your guests. A simple starting point is to compile a list from the Bride, Groom, Bride’s parents, and the Groom’s parents. Prioritize the guests, close family first, then close friends, co-workers, etc. You can choose to have children or not. It is common that EVERYONE you know will ask if they are invited. It is an inappropriate and awkward question, but one you will have to deal with. Consider constraints with your budget and your venue of choice. If your favorite venue can only accommodate 100 guests, that is your goal. Normally 75% of your invited guests will RSVP yes.
How much will my wedding cost? How do I budget for my wedding?
You need to understand what each piece of the puzzle will cost you and how that fits into your budget. Your food, beverage and site will make up the largest part of your budget and is directly tied to how many guests you will have. Your dress, photographer, and entertainment are examples of items that have a fixed cost and are not related to how many guests you will have. Create a work sheet showing every budget related item, don’t forget to include any service charges and sales tax on food and beverage.
Who pays for what?
Traditionally the Bride’s family pays for the wedding and most wedding related costs, the Groom’s family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner and the bar at the reception.
These questions are just the beginning. Remember to enjoy the process of planning your wedding and keep in mind the wedding reception is intended to celebrate your marriage. The marriage itself should be the center of all your plans. Best wishes!
Jason Diavatis is a Certified Wedding Consultant at Bay Area Entertainment and sits on the Board of Directors for the San Francisco Chapter of the National Association of Catering Executives (NACE). Bay Area Entertainment, based in Benicia California, has been providing Wedding Planning, Day of Coordination and professional DJ and Live Entertainment in the San Francisco Bay Area and Napa Valley Wine Country since 1993.
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